Well, I got a couple firings under my belt. I am starting to get a feel for this gas kiln process. I am pleased with the first two firings and the results. The first firing was a bit rusty but the second one was the best yet. I am going to fire three more times before the home sale on May 18-19.
I was meaning to post some images of the pots so far but I have not got around to taking any pics yet.
I had talked in an earlier post about how I was sick of trying so hard. Instead I have traded that in for pure intuition. For the first time ever, I am making pots for me. I have spent along time trying to make pots for and an idea, a persona, a career, a sale, a body of work, a concept, an ego, a magazine cover. All that has left me with is feeling utterly sour. I think the gas kiln and the compression of my studio time pushed me towards an edge where I could climb down or jump off. So I jumped off.
The pots I have made all winter and am now glazing, are formed and finished with total enthusiasm. All the things I used to be hung up on I don’t even care about anymore. The result is pottery that I like making. Balance….. who needs it, proportion…… fahgit about it, is it heavy……. who cares, does it have a recognizable shape or word on it……. so what, is it crooked……… big deal.
Apathy is not the way I look at when I say this. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if they are good, I don’t care if they are bad, I don’t care if it is derivative of something else, I don’t care if it is odd, I don’t care if it makes sense, I don’t care if it is goofy, I don’t care if it is perfect.
My painting professor at Bemidji Sate University was Marly Kaul. He told us that we all have a natural to move our hand. It is found in the way we sign our name. He told me that about 17 years ago. It’s taken me this long to quit fighting it and fully absorb it, and I pretty happy about it.
I promise to post some images soon.